I start today

May 1, 2006

Amid the Pull-ups, spit ups and kick ups, I start today as a working mom again. But this time its different. There's two of them. One of me.

I had it all planned out how I was going to get to my office by 9. I wanted to be here by 9, maybe even a few minutes earlier. No slack. Working moms never give themselves any slack. So here's how it went:
4am PL left for Toronto
5:30 FG wakes
5:31 I wake
5:35 FG gets her bottle
6:00 I crawl around on the floor with FG pretending to be a cow, horse, sheep and dog
7:00 FG gets breakfast
7:30 Ben wakes to pee
8:00 Ben gets cereal and juice with a straw (straw very important)
8:15 I shower with the door open while Ben
watches Treehouse, Frances plays with a copy of Today's Parent on the bathroom floor
8:20 The sitter arrives. I brief her.
8:30 I put on makeup (really weird wearing lipstick, not to mention at 8:30 in the morning!)
8:40 I kiss the kids
8:45 Out the door
8:50 Tim Horton's
8:55 At my desk

Not bad for Day One.

PL didn't see the big deal. He understood my anxiety about going back to work the first time after Ben. He got why I cried the whole streetcar ride across town. But he didn't get it this time. Somehow, he thinks the house will run the same as it did with me on mat leave. Milk in the fridge, clean clothes, warm suppers. His mother worked. So did mine. It all got done and still had time to make cookies at the bake sale. At least that's what you think when you're a kid.

I'm not sure yet if I can do it all. Some days when I was at home with the two of them, brushing my teeth was an accomplishment and if I flossed? That was extraordinary.

So, we'll see how it goes. Millions of moms do it every day. I'm just re-joining the group again. And I'm going to write about it here. Because I need to. And you can too. Whenever you want. If you're a mom at home or at work or pregnate and wondering how its all going to work, you can write it here as a way to share the insanity.